7 weeks 4 days pregnant
I woke up Tuesday morning so excited because tomorrow, December 13th was my 7 week ultrasound. For the first time Tori and I were going to be able to see the baby! I was so excited but at the same time I was terrified.
-What if the baby doesn’t have a heartbeat?
– What if there are TWO babies
– Imagine if I miscarried today – and we never got to see the baby
All these terrible thoughts were rushing through my head just minutes after opening my eyes that morning.
I got dressed
Got in my car
and drove to work
I had about 10 minutes before getting to work when I started cramping – then I got this insanely painful feeling in my vagina. I had to lean to one side so I wasn’t putting any pressure directly on my vagina from sitting.
When I got to work I parked my car. I sat there for 10 minutes trying to collect my bearings. I was in so much pain – I was so scared.
I walked inside, put my stuff down and went straight to the bathroom.
I was bleeding
I had been spotting through out the pregnancy, and I know my doctors said it was normal, but I also knew that I became a statistic when I started spotting. 1 in every 2 pregnancies that have spotting end in a miscarriage. It was a terrifying statistic to read. I had a 50% chance of loosing our baby. However, one of the Moms I had met from our donors sibling registry told me that spotting was normal, gushing was not. I was gushing. I was terrified. I went straight to the hospital.
I walked and went up to the check in.
“I think I’m having a miscarriage,” I whispered trying to hold back the sobs.
The man behind the counter jumped up and walked me directly to the ER. He walked right up to the nurses and leaned over to tell them what was going on. They put me in a room straight away. Five nurses then came into the room and proceeded to flip the room over from the last patient that was there.
Compassion filled the room.
The wait for the Dr. seemed like an eternity, but the nurses made it a bit easier. Every 20 minutes or so they brought me in a warm blanket.
The only problem I had was when the phlebotomy nurse came in she said, “I hear congratulations are in order! It looks like we are doing an HCG test! Yayyy! Have you been trying for a while?”
I answered her politely as rage tried to take over the sadness. Did no one tell her I was there because I thought I was having a miscarriage? or was she trying to be optimistic and I was taking it the wrong way? I have no idea.
The ultrasound tech finally came in.
With warm blankets might I add.
She took me back to check on the status of my pregnancy
“There’s your baby…. and there’s the heartbeat. The baby is not in distress. The heartbeat is strong. You are fine.”
“Is there only one?”
“Yes, just one strong little one. Congratulations Momma.”
Thank God. I could breath again.
But that wall grew a little bigger that day
… to be continued