Maui Condo & Car vs. Police Report (Part 2) Day 7

So sorry for the delay of part 2! I just started a new course and it is kicking my ass! Never stop learning ❤ I love being a Doula, but this course is killer!


So I left off telling you how I was feeling lousy and wanted to make my way to the hot tub to try and feel a bit better. That’s when we met “Alexus” Lets call her that for privacy reasons— a not so awesome woman who thought she was SOOOO AWESOME! No joke… I think she thought the world revolved around her. She looked like some skinny mini old woman who thought she was still 16. Not good. We should have turned around… but i decided to get in the water.

So I get into the hot tub and she starts staring at my breasts. I mean her jaw literally opened… WHAT THE FLYING FUDGE???!!!! I looked at Tori who kind of laughed and left me to fend for myself as she took a seat along side the pool. Alexus on the other hand still had her eyes on my chest. Its not like I was wearing a skimpy bikini either!

She speaks

“Oh man! Now that’s a bikini! My daughter just turned 10 today and we were trying to get her a bikini like THAT and all they had was… that.” She gestures to her daughter who was now getting into the hot tub along with her 4 year old sister.

She proceeds to compliment me on my bikini and then comes over and CARESSES my shoulder tattoo! WTF?!? Then she starts talking about her tattoos and stands up… looks around, and pulls her pants down to show me a tattoo on her vagina! I mean this woman literally shaves half of her vagina so you can see the tattoo and the other half is completely untamed! WTF?!? Oh! Nice! You want to know what the tattoo was?!?! MAUI! It was an OUTLINE OF MAUI!

“You see the birth mark in the middle?” She asked….

Um NO! No I did not! You just came way to close to my face and pulled your bikini bottom down! NO I DID NOT SEE YOUR BIRTHMARK!

“Well that is where I live, where I grew up! Did you know my Mama and Daddy own a farm there? Yea! They do! They have chickens and hens, and eggs, and fruits!” She started to pull her bottoms off again to show me the birth mark!

I looked over at Tori who had missed the whole thing! HOW COULD SHE HAVE MISSED THAT?!?! WHAAAAAT?!

Then “Alexus” noticed my amber necklace. She basically jumped across the pool and CARESSED MY NECK! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Get me the freak out of this hot tub!


“Yup. My wife is right over there.” I said lacking any enthusiasm.

Alexus hopped right out of that hot tub and RAN over to Tori to examine her rings.

“Us women LIKE US SOME BLING!” She yelled getting back into the hot tub.

She then noticed her two little girls playing in the pool. She decided that she didn’t like the way her older daughter was playing with her younger daughter, jumped out of the hot tub, ran over to the pool, and ripped the little girl out of her daughters hands. What a crazy! I mean literally the older daughter was being amazing with the little one. She was holding her, watching her swim, and “throwing” her up in the air to splash back down into the pool.  This mother was crazy and she certainly was high or drunk!

However— this was a golden opportunity to get out of the hot tub and GTFO of there! She actually creeped us out SO much that we took the LOOOOOONG way back to our room even though our room was right next to the pool. We didn’t want her seeing where our room was.

Later that night we went to the market to grab some Mucinex D-  I could feel whatever I had been sick with settling in my Lungs… and with 4 days left, I couldn’t afford to have an asthma flare up. I had all ready gone through the one inhaler we brought with us. I think we had something like 18 puffs lefts and if you have asthma you know that 18 puffs DOES NOT FEEL SAFE!

As we headed back to the condo we grabbed a bite to eat and I took my Mucinex and we watched the sunset.

When we got back to our room I noticed that I was feeling worse, not better. So we put on a movie or one of our favorite shows on netflix/hulu and tried to get my mind off of it. Tori suggested I just try to sleep it off because I was really feeling terrible.

When I started falling asleep I would wake up every 3 minutes or so feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I swear I was clearing my throat every 30 seconds and then choking for air. I was havign an allergic reaction to the mucinex. GREAT! What the freak else could go wrong.

We called the nearest walk in who told us that they did not take ANY health insurance?!?!? WHAT?!?!! The whole reason we chose Hawaii was because it was a part of the United States! Why don’t they freaking take my insurance?!??! Whatever. Calling the hospital now…. 45 minutes away, 2+ hour wait… I’m good. Tori, however, was not so good. She was nervous and wanted me to take benydryl or something to stop the allergic reaction. However, because I was so drowsy and the mucinex was causing me to have difficulty breathing i was too scared to take something that would make me more drowsy. I knew i had my epi-pen in my bag so if it got really bad I could use it, but I was more comfortable trying to push through the reaction and try and get some sleep. Tori agreed to it as long as she could wake me up in an hour or two to see how I was progressing.

I swear it took me another 30 minutes to fall asleep… and 10 minutes into sleeping I woke up to the doorbell. Whattt? I opened one eye and looked at Tori to see if she heard it too. Sure enough she was just as puzzled looking at me to see if I had heard it!

“What the heck?”

Door  bell again. I got up to go look out our peep hole.

“OH MY GOSH TORI ITS HER!” I slowly backed away from the door and snuck back to our bed. “Its her! Its her! Its Alexus! The woman from the pool! How the freak did she find us?!?!”

Then she started BANGING on the door! The kind of bang you hear in horror movies right before someone knocks the door down and kills everyone inside. Then the doorbell started going. She was ringing so fast, and banging so hard I was practically in tears. We were both terrified so we called the police. We locked all the patio doors, and closed all the windows and made sure the connecting room we had was also locked.

By the time the police got there she had left. They quickly took all of our information and sought her out. 10 minutes later the second police officer came back. They had located her. She was drunk and confused. Apparently Alexus did this frequently at this condo. They assured us that she wouldn’t be back. Both officers were incredibly comforting and assuring.

“Ma’am, if she comes knocking again, call us. Next time she will be arrested.”

As the officers left I looked at Tori who quickly said “THAT’S IT! WE’RE DONE!”

I got on the phone with the airline and rearranged our flight plans. Unfortunately they could not get us out the following day, but they could get us our 2 days early. GOODBYE MAUI! Freak! Neither of us had an easy time falling asleep that night.


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